The Difference Between Upbringing and Care for Children
← Back to Articles
Did you know that following up on your children, making sure they are fed, dressed neatly, and complete their homework is called care, not upbringing?
So What Is Upbringing (Tarbiya), Then?
Upbringing consists of actively working on five core pillars:
- Building Convictions: This includes instilling faith, core principles, moral values, personal ambitions, and a healthy understanding of life.
- Directing Interests: Guiding what occupies a child's mind and how they choose to spend their free time.
- Developing Various Skills: Nurturing skills across different areas — athletic, artistic, intellectual, social, managerial, and scientific.
- Understanding the Rules of Relationships: Teaching whom to accompany, whom to avoid, and how to build, repair, or gracefully end relationships.
- Choosing Role Models: Helping children identify supreme role models to look up to and aspire to emulate, as well as understanding the principles governing relationships with role models.
These five pillars constitute "upbringing"; anything else is merely "care".
Care can be partially delegated to others (such as schools or helpers). But upbringing cannot be delegated — for it is first and foremost the primary duty of mothers and fathers, assisted by sincere educators.
May Allah guide us to raise and care for our children properly, and grant us their righteousness.
"ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إمامًا"
"Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous."
Edited and refined by: Mohammed Taher Al-Hamdani
The original article is published on the Mafateeh Al-Hamdani | The Veteran blog by Mohammed Taher Al-Hamdani.